What Culture Shock?

Blond joke of the day:


Q - Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory?

A - She kept throwing away all the W's.


Let's see...what should today's topic be? Let's go with Culture Shock. Like the shock of moving from the frigid cold of British Columbia, Canada to sunny Southern California. You'd think that moving to a whole other country would be hard, right? Well, it is in some ways. I miss all the family and friends from up north, sometimes very badly.
On the plus side, I certainly don't miss the shoveling. You Canucks know exactly what I mean. Especially if you live in a rural area. First, you shovel your steps, and if you have a deck, you have to at least shovel a path through it so you and assorted kids and dogs can get through. Then you have to sweep snow off your car, scrape all windows. Then you have to somehow get your driveway clear. And if you live on a farm....woooo boy, tons of fun there. You have to shovel a path to various chicken coops, barns, etc. Then it snows another 6 feet and you start all over again. Ok, I exaggerate a little. Guess what guys? I do not envy you.
Here in Cali, we have no concept of this. We go about our business, baking in the hot sun. When there's rain in the forecast, we get dire warnings on the news about driving in the rain. People get into accidents because of a little rain here. These warnings make me laugh. Out loud. Imagine the fun they'd have with snow! Also, people hurry around outside, making sure things are covered so they don't get wet, bring in the shoes, etc. My father-in-law actually got up at 2 a.m. one night when he heard it raining to put things away.
And then we have the clothing industry. I remember paying quite a lot of money for certain name brands of jeans in Canada. Maybe because they have to order it in or something. Especially in a really small town, where there's only 1 store that carries them. I'm talking $80 here people.
So the first time I went shopping with my mother-in-law here, imagine my surprise when she took me to a store with name brand clothes. I paid $12 for jeans that would have cost me over $50 up north. And the $80 ones? They sell for $22. The reason being that we shopped at an outlet store. Love those places.
Another thing I noticed about California is the phone bills. I pay $24.95 per month for my phone. I can call Canada, Mexico, and all over the U.S. For $25. Flat rate. No matter how long I talk, and boy can I talk. Gone are the days up in B.C. when I called my brother in a town twenty minutes away and paid long-distance charges. Don't miss that.
Now to be fair, I really do miss you guys in my homeland. Not everything in California is so great. I really miss the smell of those pine and fir trees after a rain. The only time I get to smell that is at Christmas time when we bring in the tree. Yeah, I get some strange looks when I bury my head in the branches and deeply inhale. For an hour.
Also, I miss going shopping and running into people I know. Or people I'm related to. I remember going to Walmart and finding someone to talk to in every other aisle. I miss that. Going shopping here and knowing you're not going to see anyone you recognize is kind of sad. The one and only time we saw someone we know was at a local grocery store. We were loading in the groceries, the kids were arguing, and just when Hubs snarled "You kids, knock your shit off!", there's a lady I know. From my son's Kindergarten class. Great.
One more thing to hate about California. Just two little words. Traffic Jams. That is all.
So all in all, life here is pretty darn good. The people here are pretty much like Canadians, but tanner. And maybe a little less polite. If I could move you all down here, I would. C'mon guys....you won't have to shovel....ever. Great prices, except on gas. But you won't need it anyway, because you won't be going anywhere in this traffic anyway. Can I ask a favor though? When you pack, bring me a pine tree? Pretty please?