Aging Like Fine Wine.

Blonde Joke of the Day:

The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

Courtesy of:

http://www.blonde-jokes.co.uk/top-10-dumb-blonde-jokes.php



Today, we're going to discuss growing older. No groans please, I'm going to tell you why growing old can be good. A case in point:

Yesterday, while eating lunch at a local restaurant I overheard an interesting interaction at the next table. Yeah, I eavesdrop on other people's conversations sometimes. Bite me, you know you do it too. Anyway, what else is one to do when Hubby and I have finished our little talk about why he should go fishing instead of going grocery shopping with me? He won, by the way, which is why I'm sitting here writing this and he's baking in the hot California sun trying to catch dinner. Another thing...I was always taught not to talk with my mouth full, so eavesdropping is the natural next step when your lunch arrives and you're chowing down.

A cute old couple were seated at the next table. And when I say old, I mean it. Grandma was in a wheelchair, pushed by a lady in a nurse's uniform, and Gramps had a cane. The waiter arrived to take their drinks order.

Nurse: She can have anything except iced tea.

Grandma : (Yelling) Iced Deeeeeeee!

Nurse: (to Gramps) Iced tea is bad for her.

Gramps smiles gently, pats Grandma's hand.

Grandma: ICED DEEEEEEE!

Grandma gets her iced tea.

Now the waiter comes back to get their meal order. Gramps orders the soup and a sandwich. Nurse orders a chicken burger. Grandma has other ideas.

Grandma: PIE!

Nurse: Darling, you know you must have a meal before dessert.

Grandma PIE!!!!

Grandma got her pie.....with ice cream. And you know why? Because she's old. And loud. Score one point for getting decrepit...you can eat whatever you want.


Here's another reason getting old can be great. You really know how get out of hearing things you'd rather not. J.'s Grandma is somewhere in her 90's, although we're not exactly sure if it's 93 or 96 because she lies about her age all the time. We celebrated her birthday by going out for dinner at a restaurant in L.A. All the aunts and uncles were there, plus a few grandkids.

Aunt: Happy birthday Mother!

Grandma : Thank you.

Aunt: How are you feeling?

Grandma: Good, a little tired. (it was 7 pm)

Aunt: Maybe we should take you back early tonight.

Grandma : What?

Aunt: I said, maybe we should take you back early tonight.

Grandma: What?

Aunt: Never mind.

You see, when you get older, you can pretend not to hear anything you don't like. Doctor's appointment? Can't hear you. Still can't hear you. Time for your flu shot? Nope, can't hear that either. And if all else fails, you can always use Grandma's other trick. Look confused, and say "Who are you??". Works every time...

Getting old has other good points too. Another thing I've noticed is the respect thing. Grandma says the rudest thing, and everyone says "Oh never mind, she's just old." Automatic excuse for bad behaviour. We respect our elders to the point that they can say or do what they want. Hell, they've earned it.

Also, when you reach a certain age, you know exactly how to push that 'guilt' button with your kids and grandkids. When Grandma feels lonely, and wants company, she refuses to eat her dinner. If that doesn't work, she turns down breakfast. Then J.'s mom gets the call. "She's not eating again!". Then the troops roll out. They gather together all her favorite foods in a cooler. They head down there and visit. She smiles her victory smile, and then eats everything in sight. Keep in mind, she has Aunt C. with her every day. J.'s parents visit on average 3-4 times weekly. She has 3 other sons who stop by whenever they can. She has more company than Donald Trump has hotels.

I just have one question....why do we not want to get old?? It seems like you don't have to listen, you eat what you want, you can make family come running, and say whatever pops into your head! Where's the drawback, I ask you?